You never need to convince anyone you’re trans*
I have come out to my parents more than once and on this last attempt, I told them seriously: I am a man. I am going to start Testosterone and I am going to have surgery. I ask humbly for your support through my transition.
My family is looking for every other possible explanation. I am a “insecure gay woman,” my friends have convinced me to join a cult, I’m bored.
I found myself standing there and enumerating things I thought could convince them.
- Look at all the dresses I never wore.
- Look at how I refused to touch my hair.
- Look at how happy I was when I cut it off.
- Look at how I cry when I come.
- I’ve shopped in the mens’ section for the past four years, Mom.
- Have you ever seen me wear anything but loose shirts and big sweaters?
- Have I ever been willing to paint my nails?
- Remember how I used to cut?
- Remember how I used to inhale nail polish remover?
- Remember how I used to pretend to be a boy on the internet?
I learned something in that conversation with them. If they don’t want to believe it, they’re not going to. As soon as my parents relax and open their mind, the obvious hints from the first nineteen years of my life will come to them. I don’t need to waste my time defending myself. I am who I am, and who I am is good enough.
I am at the beginning of a very scary path, one that many of those reading this are also about to embark on, and I want to share with you something that gives me peace.
Finally, my friends, we are doing something for us. Not for society, our friends, our family, our significant others. Be you, and believe in you, don’t worry about those that doubt you. Those that don’t are the ones that will stick through with you. Don’t waste your time trying to convince others of who you’re supposed to be.
Just be it.
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