Does anyone here have any experience with using the gender neutral pronouns ze (instead of he or she) and hir (instead of him or her)? I've recently started asking people to refer to me this way and am wondering what challenges others have run into. I've never met anyone else who actually uses these pronouns on a day to day basis.

Kyle: I don’t have personal experience with this but I know a few people who have used neutral pronouns. I know that oftentimes people just haven’t encountered neutral pronouns before and have a hard time switching to something completely new than simply switching from “he” or “she” to the other. If you’re in school you might find resistance from teachers.

bad to my state of ideal androgyny. I was wondering if there were any natural ways that I could stop some of the masculine hormones in my body, or how easy it would be for me to get something like an anti-androgen from a doctor. I am literally terrified at the thought of becoming any more masculine. If you know of anything please let me know. I don't want any more facial hair or a deeper voice or more body hair would be ugh so bad!

Kyle: Unfortunately since I’m not on the MTF-spectrum I don’t have personal experience with getting anti-androgens and don’t know much about them. Have you asked your doctor? If you don’t have a doctor, are you near a clinic that serves trans people, such as an LGBT clinic or a Planned Parenthood? As far as natural ways there are probably resources out there on types of foods you could eat that are higher in estrogens (I’ve seen some resources for women going through menopause like that), but again, I don’t know of many.

Do you know of any (pre- or no- T) trans men or FAAB non-binary folks that got IUDs in order to prevent pregnancy without the use of "female" hormones? What, in general, would be your advice of things to use in addition to condoms to prevent pregnancy?

Kyle: For those who don’t know, IUD stands for Intrauterine Device, and is a type of birth control. I don’t know anyone personally that has done that who is trans-identified or transitioning, but I did one time talk to a friend who had just gotten one in place. She said she was enjoying it because it was worry-free and maintenance was really easy (I guess once a month you have to check to see if a small string is still poking out of the cervix). Just like you mention, they can be great for trans folks because there are ones that are hormone-free and they last for a long time. If there is a trans-friendly reproductive healthcare provider near you (like Planned Parenthood), I would check with them for more information.

As for things to use in addition to condoms, again, I would check with a healthcare provider or a sex ed. trainer (if you’re a student some campuses have volunteer public health offices that give great advice on safe sex for free). I have heard of trans folks being able to be on T and also be on birth control of certain types, but again, I don’t know anyone personally who was doing that for birth control reasons.

Hey, So I was wondering if you guys had any more info about third gendered....

Kyle: I don’t know of any resources off the top of my head, but some terms you may want to search for for more information might include genderqueer, nonbinary, third gender, genderfluid, agender, neutrois, etc.

Do you have advice for anything I can do to express how I truly feel on the inside?

Kyle: This is pretty vague, so not having any details what I would suggest is to not rush anything without feeling out the safety of a given situation. Most folks start out by changing name and pronouns if desired, but maybe even before that you may want to test the waters by gauging how your friends, colleagues, and family feel about trans folks. You can also try out more neutral or preferred-gender-role outfits, a new hairstyle, etc. When it comes to anything more drastic like binding or changing your voice, be sure to do research before trying anything so that you make sure you are being safe and doing it in a way that won’t cause lasting damage to your body.

Gabe: Writing. I would say that you should try writing out your feelings. When things are down on a page, sometimes it can be easier to decide what to do with yourself. I know it works for me. Good luck!

Posted by Thamblr 18 July Anonymous Permalink
I'm a 17 year old guy, that isn't really sure whether he wants to fall into male or female gender catagories? For the past few years i've conformed to a strong male stereotype, but after coming out as gay to my peers, I want to try to fit more into a gender fluid catagory... could I get some tips on how to start doing it? ><

Kyle: See this answer.

Gabe: Well, what I’d say is that you shouldn’t try to force yourself to conform to any sort of stereotype you aren’t comfortable with. Just do what feels right for you, and don’t rush yourself..

Posted by Thamblr 18 July Anonymous Permalink
im a 17 year old male thats pretty unsure about things. ive never felt transgendered in any way but then im not happy being a male either. i read about gender-fluidity, and it seemed like a perfect solution, for me to be happy in the body i've got rather than having to go through surgery, however i have no idea what to do. could you give any advice?

Kyle: While I’m not 100% familiar with gender fluidity my personal advice to you would be to go about this like anyone doing a social transition. If you want to change your name or pronouns, experiment to see what works best for you, and then ask that friends and family use your new preference. Go thrift-shopping or to your favorite store and try new clothes if you want a change of style, or try new accessories that you may not have before like make-up or a given style of hats. If you want to change your voice at all I would caution against using free online videos because those can often permanently damage your vocal folds, but I hear from folks that singing along to artists in their desired range can be helpful, as long as you stop the moment it starts to hurt. I hope this is a good starting point.

Posted by Thamblr 18 July Anonymous Permalink
Hello My name is Darlene, well at least thats what my parents named me. Everyone, but my family, calls me Joshua now. I'm a 17 year old FtM and just saw you blog and decided I wanted to have some people to talk to if I need them or maybe even they need me.

Kyle: Thanks for submitting. Of course Gabriel and I are always here, and followers please feel free to “like” this post or reply to Joshua too.

Gabe: Any time you - or anyone else - need someone to talk to, just drop a line. It might take us a bit (especially on my personal from time to time) but there are people out there to talk to.

Your submit button does not appear to be working.

Same as before, we turned off submissions temporarily to catch up on everything in our inbox.

Questions are still turned on but since we will answer them in the order they came in it could take awhile before the recent ones are answered.


Posted by Thamblr 18 July Anonymous Permalink
A gender-neutral third-person pronoun has arisen spontaneously as a part of kids' slang in Baltimore


What’s also interesting about the kids’ language is that people — mostly academics — have been trying to introduce a gender-neutral singular pronoun into the English language for about 200 years, with very little success. And then a group of kids in Baltimore just make one up and start using it.”

(Source: motherfuckerofbabylon)


Established in September 2009, Transpride is a blog for those who identify as anything that falls under the trans umbrella, as well as their friends, families, and allies.

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