Neither of the remaining mods are MTF-spectrum, but given the trans women I know, I know many have worn scarves to actually cover it up, or alternatively wear very plain necklines and no jewelry close to the neck, instead spicing up their outfit with a nice belt, a long necklace, or noticeable earrings, etc. Basically, either physically cover it, or distract the eyes away from it. I’ve seen the same thing done for all sorts of things—like women who have had mastectomy often get shirts with very bold, distracting patterns, or have embroidery up near the shoulder, to distract the eyes away from the chest. The sky’s the limit with fashion creativity!
Trans people transition for many different reasons, including all you mentioned and more. It’s really personal and though from the outside it looks like everyone takes the same steps for the same reasons, it’s not so. If you think you’re trans and you want to transition, that’s your decision alone, and no one else can tell you you are or aren’t trans, or that your perception of it is less true.
Neither of the remaining mods for this blog are in Canada. What I do know is that it is different province to province, and given trans politics right now it could be changing soon too. Try reaching out to a local LGBT group to see if they know, or contact someone at the place you would go to to change your records. It should be well-documented since the people making this actual change in your record are going to be more clueless about it than any trans people going in to do it.
There are many resources out there to help you out. Look through our archives, or browse Tumblr for other blogs, like through the #ftm and #mtf tags. You can also look on Google—there have been step-by-step guides for folks for at least a decade online. They might be a little outdated, but the more you can research and learn the better equipped you’ll be to make informed decisions and be satisfied with every step you do take.
I would assume so since so many people use them. It takes a lot of practice. The tips I’ve heard include practicing first in the shower, then in your home bathroom, then with pants in your home bathroom, then going out in public.
T won’t by itself change who you are. It simply isn’t true and many, many trans people have said that as much as it does change, their core personality doesn’t.
What I will point out is that becoming comfortable in your body and possibly/probably becoming treated differently socially can have an affect on you. You might express yourself in ways you didn’t feel comfortable doing before, or you might find that you have to interact differently with other people. But in my opinion this isn’t any different from the changes you might experience simply from growing older, moving to a new town, or making other changes. It’s social, not actual chemically-induced changes.
It’s OK and normal to be confused, especially as a partner for whom this might be new and unexpected. I know on YouTube and across Tumblr there are several channels and blogs set up for partners of trans people. I don’t know what they are, but if you look in the tags like #ftm I bet you’ll come across them.
This might have some links to less meme-y resources: http://transparrotfishsignificantother.tumblr.com/ Like I said, there are a ton out there, I just personally don’t know what ones are still up and running or what they’re called.
Hey everyone! We’ve been watching A LOT of videos around the web, but we are missing mainly videos where the body is more expressive or the focus is not only on someone talking. Please reblog, we are looking forward to get to know everyone and make a kick ass documentary! Thanks a lot!
Thanks for doing that! I’d say that particular way of asking is awkward—firstly, in most spaces that ask for preferred gender pronouns (PGPs, also sometimes called personal gender pronouns), this isn’t something to apologize for. It’s a subcultural norm and something to do for EVERYONE, not just trans or gender nonconforming folks. Secondly, there’s no need to be ambiguous. It’s fine to just ask, “What are your pronouns?” Sometimes when people aren’t used to that, I say something like, “By the way, I don’t think I know your pronoun yet, what do you go by?”
However, I don’t want it to look like being blunt is what’s a norm. Many people say they like to be asked, “Do you mind if I ask you a question?” first. Many of us in the spaces that discuss PGPs are also leaders or educators, so sometimes we just want to have a nice night out with our friends without being asked about our transness. It’s nice to feel normal sometimes.
Now, this is all for places that that’s relatively common to do. I know some non-queer trans folks that get really offended if you ask them what pronoun they prefer. The way they see it, they spent years and lots of emotional and financial burdens to be seen as who they are, and they don’t want questioned. So in those circumstances with those people, you’ll either pick up on it quickly, or you might point out something to the effect of, “In some of my social circles we ask everyone about their preferred pronouns, are you OK with that sort of question? What is yours?” That might still be offensive, but it points out that you’re learning, and you’re just trying to be a good ally.
I hope that wasn’t confusing. Basically, you’re doing awesome by asking at all, and it’s OK to be more clear from the get-go if you want to be. :)